Broken Choices
by AutumnButterflylives
Summary: Bella is talked into attending a dating auction by her best friend. Little did she know that the devil wears a best mask of all. Can Bella ever truly let her desires be explored, or will she forever hide behind what is expected of her? Peter/Bella pairing
1. Chapter 1

**Here is another one of my contest entries that I submitted to the non-cannon contest. This one didn't win anything, but I plan on continuing it!**

 **Summary:** Bella is talked into attending a dating auction by her best friend. Little did she know that the devil wears a best mask of all. Can Bella ever truly let her desires be explored, or will she forever hide behind what is expected of her?

 **DISCLAIMER:** Twilight and its inclusive material is copyright to Stephenie Meyer. Original creation, including but not limited to plot and characters, is copyright to the respective authors of each story. No copyright infringement is intended.

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The crowd was a mass of black as the bright lights from above shown as spotlights on us. We stood, side by side, with our arms down as our sides. Apparently, this was to be a submissive pose. Given what type of auction this was for, it was no wonder why we were required to have such a pose.

How had I even let myself be talked into this? This wasn't me. I never took risks. I never would even dare to think about doing this, let alone be seen in this type of building.

So how did I find myself here, in a place I never once thought of once, let alone twice? The reason was standing right beside me. My best friend, Alice.

Hours earlier, she had come to me and demanded that I had to tag along with her. That was of course after the night before that I complained I was a boring person. I didn't like to go out and party or try to meet people. The only people I knew other than my family was everyone at church and school. But when graduation came upon us less than a month ago, most of our classmates left the small town without looking back once.

I wished I was one of them. Just to be able to leave everything behind and move on. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and still didn't. I didn't understand how any eighteen-year-old could know what exactly they wanted out of life other than a great career and happiness.

I had no idea what I was going to do. Most likely, I'd follow my parent's footsteps. I didn't want to though. Growing up with church loving parents tended to make me see the world with wide open eyes, yet closed off to the idea of being a risk taker. I was the oddball of the family. I was just different and saw the world in a wider view. Even if my parents tended to shelter me my entire life, I still knew right from wrong. My gut told me that.

Dad was the pastor of the church in our town of a thousand people. Mom was not only a school teacher, but also the Sunday school teacher to most of the community. Because of them, I was known by the entire town. Everyone knew everyone, so that made being here even more worrisome about what would happen.

Don't get me wrong, I loved being close to the town, people, and God himself. I just was tired of being expected to take more of a role inside the church. Dad wanted me to be one of the team leaders. Which meant I would have to be busy planning for bible studies five days a week. It wasn't something that seemed fun. It didn't call my name like traveling around the world did.

Sure, I liked church and enjoyed attending bible studies weekly, but that didn't mean I wanted to plan them or be more of a teacher than I was. It didn't feel like it was my calling.

My calling was somewhere outside of those walls. I just didn't know what that was yet.

Alice thought that bribing me to come to this _fun_ party tonight would help broaden my horizons. She also didn't want to come alone. She was like me in some ways. She wanted to find what her true calling was outside of our small town. She also saw the world in a much brighter way of life. Somehow, she had found out about tonight through some Facebook event and jumped at the chance, dragging me right along with her.

Unlike me, she loved to take risks and try something new weekly. If there was an award to how many new things you could try in live by a certain age, she'd win it.

Alice, all four feet and seven inches of her, was full of energy and optimistic. She had been vibrating with happiness since she got me to agree to this. If only I could get some of that. I was nervous and wanted to go back home. Screw the sign-up cost.

Of course, my best friend would never let me do that. It was merely luck that she got me here in the first place.

"Welcome to the second auction of the year!" boomed a loud female voice over the speakers around the room. "So many new faces tonight. For those of you who don't know, this is a BDSM auction. If you don't know that term, then you are in the wrong place and I ask for you to leave. The bidders are in the stands, the person you want to bid on stands on the stage. Like the time before, I will tell you a small bit about each lady, or man, that stands on the stage who is willing to get a small profit out of the bidding war to go on one single date with one lucky man or woman. If you both hit it off, great. If not, then I'll most likely see you again around these parts.

"Now," she said, lowing her voice. "Let's get this fun night started!"

The names were drawn randomly, as no one in the stands knew for sure just who was up here on the stage. The black masks we wore over our eyes helped hide our identity. Thankfully, I did agree on that part. I didn't want anyone to know who I was. What would I do if someone I knew from church was here? I highly doubted anyone I could possibly know would ever show their face here of all places, though. I certainly shouldn't even be here myself.

Luckily, I wasn't one of the first to be called upon. With this being my first time, I had no idea what to expect. Alice had no idea either. Doing online research only went so far.

"Next up to win one of the hearts that showed up today is Miss Swan," announced the female voice. "Submissive in nature. Some of her hobbies are crafting, reading, and enjoying the outdoors. Let the bidding start!"

A round of numbers were called out, some louder than others. With each increase in price, my stomach twisted with nerves. Why did I allow Alice to talk me into doing this? This wasn't me. I knew without a doubt that my parents would look at me differently if they knew. They would possibly throw me into the loony bin for even thinking of attending something like this.

"Sold! Mr. Whitlock is the winner!"

There was a round of applause, along with Alice's small shriek of shocked happiness. I hadn't paid attention to how much the man bided on me. It didn't really matter, mostly.

Once off the stage, I knew where to meet my blind date. She had told us what needed to be done after our bidder had won a date.

She had even made sure that we understood that this was on our free will and that we didn't have to agree to meet outside in public if we were not comfortable to do so. I had to wonder if was just mandatory to go over everything little thing, or if they had an incident happen before.

Once I was standing in front of the wall, I felt as if I was going to throw up. I knew coming here wasn't something I should have ever considered doing. I wanted to go back home. Just too bad that Alice wouldn't let me leave that easily. Nor this man that now took me in from head to toe as he stood in front of me. He easily towered me as I stood in my five foot two of glory.

Behind his mask, I could just barely make out his dark blue eyes, round cheeks, and straight nose. His light blond hair almost white in the dim lighting. The small dusting of facial hair only added to his entire appeal.

He didn't speak, instead held out his hand for me to take. I glanced from his masked face to his hand and back again. My heart pounded a million miles an hour in my chest, as if it was a motor all on its own.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Swan," he spoke after a moment, dropping his hand in the process.

I knew that voice, but from where? I couldn't find a face to match it, either.

I gave a tight-lipped smile in return. My mouth didn't want to work. I stood frozen. My body refused to do anything for me all of a sudden.

"I think you've made her speechless," Alice said as she nearly bounced to where we stood. She had a huge smile on her face as she looked between us.

I felt bad that I hadn't paid attention to her auction, but what did she expect? I was so far out of my element here, I didn't know what to do.

"There's a coffee shop just around the block," he began once his eyes met mine. "So we can talk."

"Okay," I breathed. I was sure he wasn't even able to hear my one-word answer as it passed my lips.

"Be gentle to her," Alice said my way before she glued her eyes to the man that came to claim her. It was merely a breath later when the man who had won her smashed his lips to hers.

Quickly turning my eyes away from the couple, I couldn't help but think that my friend had known exactly what to expect tonight. I didn't think she'd ever lie to me, though. Alice knew people here, that was no secret, but how much did she really know about this?

"Let's get the price of all this taken care of, first, shall we?" Mr. Whitlock asked, holding out his hand once more.

This time, I laid my hand in his gently. I wasn't sure why I was so frightened to touch him. I've shaken plenty of hands at church all my life. Why was now any different?

At the simple touch, my body felt as though it knew exactly who this man was to me.

It couldn't be possible.

I've felt like this once before. Four years ago, in fact.

No.

I refused to believe this was fate. My parents would hate me.

He led me around the wall and to the small office like room. The light was brighter in here, and I could see just how blonde his hair really was. I was a small step behind him as he led the way. He knew right where he was going, and I was happy to follow him.

I think I'd willing follow him to Hell if he chooses to lead me there. I was afraid that was just where I was going to go.

After handing over the amount of money, I got my ten percent that I won. Maybe the thousand that the man bided was well worth it. This little bit of money would help start my savings account to get out of the enclosed town I wanted away from.

"We don't really need these on now," he mumbled, pulling off his mask from around his eyes.

My eyes widened in surprise. "Peter?"

"Hey darling," he smiled, taking the invite to remove my own mask and folding both into his back pocket. "We have a bit to talk about."

That was an understatement.

The last time I had saw him was right before he had gone off to enlist into the army. Peter was eighteen, four years older than I was and I had never heard from him again. That last time, I really thought I would never see him again as he had made sure to give me a long hug with whispered words.

Why was he back? Why here? How did he even know I would be here?

"Come on," he coaxed, taking ahold of my hand once more and leading me out of the room. "Here's isn't the best place to talk."

"Hey, B! Will you need a ride home?" Alice asked as she passed us by.

"I'll make sure she gets home," Peter said with a smile. "I won't keep her out late."

"She's staying at my house tonight," Alice stated. "Her parents."

"Understood," he nodded before leading me away. I looked behind me, seeing Alice give me a little wave with her fingers.

I simply rolled my eyes. Her mind was always in the gutter, and there was no way I'd ever sleep with a man. Let alone on the first date. Or to a man that I once thought I knew.

What kind of girl was my friend trying to turn me into here?

I remained silent, lost in thought, as Peter lead me out of the building and around the corner. Right where he said it would be. Surprisingly, it was still opened with it being semi-late. Or maybe it was just because I was a small-town girl that I found it strange for a coffee shop to be opened at a little past nine on a Saturday night.

He held onto my hand the entire way. It was as though he was afraid that I was going to disappear. Who knows, maybe I would. My thoughts certainly had.

I was in a daze as he held the door open as we entered into the almost too warm coffee shop. Peter even held out my chair before he went and ordered us drinks.

As he did so, I took a look around the small, homey, hole in the wall cafe. There was a stack of books on tables dusted around the room. The lighting wasn't too bright, nor was it too dark. The entire front of the shop was made of glass windows with coffee decals randomly placed. I even spotted some breads and cakes up by the counter.

"Here you go," Peter said, setting a huge red mug in front of me before taking his own seat. His orange mug was filled to the brim with almost black coffee. Mine was covered with foamy cream on the top. "French Carmel with extra cream."

"Thank you," I said, wrapping my hands around the warmth.

"Of course, Bella," he said, giving me a wink that went straight to my gut. "How have you been?"

"Same as always," I answered.

"That good, huh?" His eyes seemed to see more than I was willing to give away.

"I'm alive," I answered. "What more should I expect?"

There was no way I'd ever share how I really felt. I would gladly die with the broken heart I carried around with me. I'd carry the secrets that I carried on my shoulders just to keep them locked away forever. Not even Alice knew some of the things I kept inside my soul.

"There's so much out there," he said, moving his hand around in the air as if he was talking about the entire world. Well, that was exactly what he was talking about. "You don't have to stay in that suffocating town, you know. There is so many things out there to explore and experience. Trying everything there is to try is the true way to happiness."

I wondered if that was why he left? Did he get to see the world? Did he tire of it and that's why he returned? Why did I even care?

My heart hurt that he had left, and it still hurt after all these years. Peter had been the one person other than Alice that I had felt comfortable enough to express my hatred for what I was expected to do. He had been there to listen to my rants when I had to use my free time at the church helping during the summer.

In the end, I hadn't minded as Alice was quick to volunteer with me to keep me sane. I knew that without her, I would have been extremely unhappy with how my life was turning out to be. I still wasn't happy, and I wasn't sure I'd ever truly be able to. I was meant for something else, but no one was letting me figure that out. Including myself.

"Let me show you what the world is like outside of that town you call home, darling," Peter said as I remained quiet. "Let me show you how much you are missing out."

"All that," I said pointing towards the door. "That's not me. This isn't me. I shouldn't have come here tonight."

"I'm glad you came, Bella," he said, folding his arms across the table. "I'm not the same boy that left four years ago."

"No, you certainly aren't," I said quietly, letting my eyes slip from him. He was a full man now, and he knew exactly want he wanted out of life. He knew what kind of sins that the world held.

And I would forever be lost in this life that was leading me nowhere. Sure, my parents would tell me that the life I was leading would be worth more than I could ever think it to be. My life was to be a gift and used to share the word of God and doing godly things.

My heart craved to do more. My soul demanded me to explore the wide world out there beyond what I knew. But my head knew that was never going to be option.

Ever.

"Give me a chance, at least," he pleaded. "Please. I know my leaving hurt you. But I had to leave. I had to get away while I could. I may have changed, but it was all in a good way. I know you want more out of life. And I can help you."

"Why?"

"Because I want to," he answered simply.

Only if life were that easy, that simple.

"Okay," I sighed, letting my shoulders drop. "I'll at least hear you out."

"Thank you," he said, looking at me through his lashes as he dipped his head. He took in a deep breath before he lifted his eyes fully to mine. It was as if a switch had been turned on. His eyes demanded my attention. Demanded everything from me.

And I was pretty darn sure Hell just opened up and swallowed me whole.

"Tell me, what do you know of BDSM?

"More than anyone like me should," I answered, feeling my cheeks blush and my palms sweat.

Most people really thought I was perfect. I went to church, followed the rules, and obey the God given laws. It was ingrained into me to do just that.

Little did everyone know I did do research. My thoughts were not so perfect.

Okay, it was mostly thanks to Alice. She read some book her mother had stashed away in the attic and it had gained her interest. With me being her only friend that she trusted, she told me all about it.

"Let me guess. Alice?"

"Did you even need to guess?" I asked in return.

"She will get you in trouble one of these days, darling," he said, shaking his head. He wasn't all that surprised that my best friend would no doubt do just that. If it wasn't for Alice, I certainly wouldn't have been willing to do a lot of the things I've gotten myself into the past year. I also know that I would have turned into myself more than I already had.

"And I'll be the only one that can get her out of whatever she finds herself into," I counted.

"I missed you, Bella," he said, giving me a sad smile.

"Then you shouldn't have left like you did." I wanted to add as he left without saying another word that day.

"How much do you know about the lifestyle?" Changing the subject. I blinked. Was I willing to tell him exactly what I knew? I didn't know everything, but I got the jist of all it well enough.

"Enough so know that you are a dom," I said slowly, dropping my eyes to the table. "And that I am a sub."

"That you certainly are," he said.

Peter lifted my chin with his pointer finger. Once my eye met his, he seemed to be debating on what to say. What was he really thinking? What did he see? Who was I to him?

Finally, after what felt like a lifetime, he spoke. "I can show you what my lifestyle is like. I can share my experience on why I love to have control. I can share why I enjoy what I have learned, promising you that you will like it just as much. I can show you just what you mean to me, Bella Swan. Your parents don't ever have to know, if you don't want them to. But you are an adult. You are free to make your own choices. I will be here, waiting for your choice. I will never push you into this life that I enjoy, but I would like nothing more than to share it with you. I will never force you to try anything with me." Pausing, he let the words soak into me.

"After tonight, we can part ways and never look back. We can part and never see each other again, if you so desire."

"And if I want to try this – whatever this is between us?" I asked, my breath a whisper.

"Then I'm all for it. I'll do whatever I have to for you to give it a chance."

Could I really do this? What would everyone think?

I knew without a doubt that Alice would be all for this. That was how she got me talked into this anyhow. But would I be able to try this sort of lifestyle without worry about anyone finding out? Would I be able to keep this a secret from my parents, who saw right through me when I told a white lie?

More importantly, if this didn't work out, what would happen? Would I be able to just walk away unscratched? Would we just leave each other's lives and never see one another again?

Peter had been my best friend. When he left, he took my heart with him and I acted like it hadn't bothered me. I was positive that if he broke my heart again, I'd never recover.

Was risking my heart and soul on a man who promised to show me the world worth the price I'd have to pay?

No. No it wasn't.

"I can't," I said, tears filling my eyes. "I can't risk my life to try."

"Okay," he said, not arguing. He wanted to but didn't.

Instead, he dropped his hand from my chin and cupped his mug of chilled coffee. I had forgotten all about our drinks.

"Why? Why not risk it?"

"I can't lose you again. If you choose to just up and leave like you did before, I'd never survive, Peter. I may have held it together last time, but I won't be able to do it again. There is too much at stake," I rambled, looking anywhere but him.

"Like what?" he asked, his voice a demandingly.

"My parents would never look at me the same. They would most likely disown me. You saw how they acted towards Jessica when she got pregnant by a one-night stand. I can't risk losing what have now. What if you get called back to serve? What if you die? I can't risk more than friendship."

"First off, I won't be called back to serve. I did my tour and I left the army. It wasn't for me. But because of what I saw, that is how I became to be who I am today. And how do you know if either one of us will die right as we walk out that door?"

"I can't risk it, Peter. I'm sorry," I said, a tear finally breaking free and falling down my cheek. "There is nothing I can offer you but my friendship."

My heart hurt, knowing that I was choosing wrong. My head knew it was the right thing to do, and there were no other options.

"Okay, darling," Peter said. "I'll be there if you ever change your mind."

I gave him a watery smile, hoping beyond hope that he was right.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It was past midnight when Peter pulled up in front of Alice's house. Her bedroom light was on, so that meant she was already back. I wasn't ready to answer the million and one questions that she would no doubt have for me. I had a few for her, too.

"You've been quiet," Peter commented.

I had hardly said much of anything on the way back home. I had nothing to say. Not to him, anyhow. I still had so many questions for him, and probably would for quite some time.

Before getting into Peter's truck, I had pulled my brown hair up into a low ponytail, tired of it being in my face. I only wore it down because Alice had been the one to pretty much demand that I did. I did draw the line at wearing any type of makeup, other than mascara. To me, that was even pushing it.

"Do you regret going tonight?" he asked. Peter seemed to fear my answer.

"Yes and no," I answered, suppressing a sigh. "I don't regret running into you. But I wish it would have been under different circumstances." I wish I had known he'd be there so I'd have not gone.

I had no idea how to act around him now that I knew what he had wanted. He didn't exactly say he wanted to date me, but he wanted something more than just friendship from me. I couldn't give him what he wanted, and I felt like he was disappointed in it.

I felt like I was a disappointment.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" he asked, sensing that I wasn't going to say more.

"It's Sunday, so I'll be at church most of the day. I have to help with child care." Once a month, I helped in the nursery. It was more of the fact that I wanted a break from having to be looked up to as a model and teacher. With infants, all they wanted was to have someone just sit with them and be content. Most of them had quickly came to know who I was and that alone made it more fun. So many times a child hated the fact that that their parents wanted a few minutes without the worry of taking care of said child.

"Guess I'll see you there, then," he said as I opened the car door.

"See ya later, Peter," I said, giving him a tight-lipped smile before exciting the truck. He stayed parked until I was in the house.

Why did I feel like I did wrong? Why did I feel like I made the wrong choice?

I opened the door slowly, hoping that Alice would be already sleep. Of course, I had no such luck. She was wide awake, sitting in the middle of her bed with bright blue eyes begging me to tell he everything.

Her room was way too bright for my liking. Her pale pink bedspread was the least colorful thing that was in her room. Everything was either pink, purple, or teal. A strange combination, but it fit her perfectly like everything else.

"I don't like that look," she said, giving me a sad look in return. "Come, tell me." She patted the bed beside her.

"I don't want to talk about it," I huffed, kicking off my back flats before falling face down on the bed beside her. At least her millions of blankets she always had on her bed nearly caged me in.

"What happened?" she coaxed. "I was sure you'd be happy to see him there."

"I was," I said, moving so I sat cross legged beside her. "Who was the guy that kissed you?" Hopefully the change of subject would keep her focus off of me.

"Oh, that was Jasper," she blushed, looking down at her lap. "He's the one that was telling me about the auction and encouraged me to go. I've seen him around before, though." Ah, so he was the one that she was most likely talking to online the past few months.

"Looked like you two knew each other well enough."

"We may have been on a date or two the past month," she said sheepishly.

"And you didn't tell me?" I said, sort of hurt that she had kept it from me.

"I didn't want to make it out to be more if it wasn't. I didn't know what you would think about me just jumping into all that stuff right off the bat. But you had to know that I was learning things from somewhere other than online."

"I can't do this right now," I said, my shoulders dropping with defeat.

"Don't be mad, okay. Please, Bella."

"I'm not mad, Alice. Just sad. Sad that I can't just go do whatever like that." Didn't she grasp that actions like this didn't always end up good?

"You could if you tried harder," she muttered. Louder, "I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you. I just wasn't sure how you would take it. But the last time I met up with Jasper, Peter was there. And there was always a vibe between the two of you. I thought you'd hit it off."

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I only made a fool out of myself. I won't go do anything like that again."

"Why not? You said earlier yesterday that you thought maybe that was what you needed."

"It's not me. It's not who I was raised to be, Alice." My sorrow and anger filled my very soul as I spoke the words.

"You didn't even give it a chance!" Alice nearly shouted. "How could you know? One time doesn't show you anything."

"Drop it, Alice," I said, pushing myself off the bed and towards the bathroom. I was ready to just go to sleep and get this day over with. I needed to start fresh. "I'm done with that stuff. It's not worth the time or trouble for me to try it again."

"What did Peter say to you? I know you weren't entirely sure about going, but I was sure you'd find it enjoyable once you got past your fear."

"He didn't say anything, Alice," I said. "It's me, not him."

"Don't you dare give me that line," she seethed.

"Drop it, Alice. I tried and failed. That lifestyle is not my life." With that, I shut the door to the bathroom much softer than I really wanted to.

I slid to the floor, my back to the door as my heart pounded in my chest. Tears stung my eyes as I fought my emotions.

I thought I was over all this teenager emotional crap. I was eighteen and I should be able to control these things better. I wasn't a child. I was an adult. So why was all this effecting me so much? Why couldn't I just keep on going?

It had to do with Peter, it just had to. I was fine until I noticed it was him. He messed up my thoughts, my emotions, every time he was nearby. He made me act like someone I didn't know. That alone told me I had to put a stop to anything and everything that had to do with him. That was the only way I'd be able to figure out what I was meant to do and who I was as a person.

Once I got my emotions under control and washed my face, Alice was asleep on her side of the bed. I quietly made my way to the other side of the bed and slipped in. I knew my thoughts wouldn't really allow me to sleep, but I closed my eyes and hoped that everything would make sense in the morning with a new day.

I had to have hope that things would look brighter. I had nothing else to hope for.

000

The next morning, after getting very little sleep, Alice and I arrived at church. The smell of coffee wafted out of the open doors from the Café Shop that was located at the entrance of the building. People mingled in and out of the doors, talking and catching up from the week they have had.

Some of these people came early just that purpose. They didn't get time to talk to the community members except for Sundays since so many people lived busy lives and even worked outside of the town's limits.

More times that I wanted to count, I had been here to set up and make the entire building ready to go for the early risers. I hadn't minded doing so, as it had given me time to be by myself lost in thought. I liked this building, as it felt like my second home most of the time.

When I was just a toddler, the church had been destroyed by a tornado, and they rebuilt a simple building in it's place. Over the years, more space had been added on to create more space as our small town grew.

"You have to meet Jasper, though. I think you'll really like him," Alice said from beside me as we entered the church.

"I'll meet him when you bring him home to meet your parents," I said, knowing that would be months away. Alice's parents were more lax on who she dated than my parents ever would be, but that didn't mean she'd bring home a boy she hardly been around.

"You make it sound like he's a dog," Alice said.

"You are the one that said it."

Alice lightly hit me in the shoulder as we both laughed at my remark. "Hey now."

My laugh and smile faded instantly as we came to complete stop. Feet in front of us stood Peter Whitlock. His hands were stuffed into the front pockets of his jeans. His eyes were pleading with me.

Pleading for what, I wasn't sure. If he was worried about me saying anything about last night, he didn't need to worry. There was no way I'd ever willing say anything about what went on between us then or even now.

"Peter," Alice said in greeting.

"Alice," he said. "Bella."

"I'm glad you've came back," Alice said as I tried my best to look anywhere but at the man before me.

"I'm happy to be back," he replied easily.

"I'm gonna go see if my parents are here yet," Alice said before walking off, leaving me alone with this man. This man that I had no clue what to say to.

"How you've been?" he asked, his voice quiet as he looked at me.

"Fine," I shrugged.

It felt as if last night hadn't happened, but at the same time it was as if we had left off in a horrible place. At least I wasn't the only one lost on how to act.

"You look tired," he said.

"I take it you and Alice stayed up too late watching movies again?" Mom asked as she wrapped me in a one armed hug. "It's great to see you, Peter."

"You too, Mrs. Swan," Peter said.

I knew without looking that my mom had her best skirt and shirt on, her hair pinned straight to her shoulders and make-up perfect. It was the same as always. Being the preacher's wife, she had to uphold her position in the church. Or so she had said when I'd asked a few years ago. When thing had seemed so simple, anyhow.

"I wasn't sure you'd come today," Mom went on. "You mother said you've had a tough time adjusting back to being here."

How long had he been back for?

"I'm home and adjusting just fine. Mom just worries too much," Peter said on a laugh.

"Glad to hear. You'll have to stop by sometime for some of Bella's famous cookies," Mom went on. "Or come to the bake sale later this week."

Oh, yeah. I had forgotten I was to make my so called famous cookies for the bake sale that the church put on ever spring.

"I'll certainly be sure to stop by," Peter said, giving me a look that said he'd do just that. "I better go say hello to some of these people that I know."

He nodded his head before leaving. It was moments later my mom whispered, "I'm glad he's back, but be careful around that boy. The war changes people."

That it certainly did.

"I'll be fine."

"I have no doubt you will," Mom said, pressing a kid to the side of my head before making her way to greet someone else that caught her attention.

With one last glance at Peter as he smiled and laughed at someone that he was talking to, I made my way to the infant care room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for all the favs, follows and reviews! I haven't had time to reply to any reviews yet, but I love each and every one of them all the same!**

Chapter 3

Once the church service concluded, I let out a huge yawn, my eyes watering at the force. I was desperate for a nap but knew I wouldn't be getting one.

While in the infant care room, I only had three kids to keep track of. Thankfully, they were the ones that were easier to keep busy and entertained. One was a three-month-old little girl, who slept the entire hour and half that she was in my care. The middle boy was just a year old and was kept busy by the eighteen-month-old girl.

The youngest was the newest to join our family service in the small town of Forks. And one I watched a few times when her mom needed a late-night sitter when her shifts ran later.

Maybe that was what I needed to do – watch more kids to keep my parents off my back. Not that it would last long, but it would be something to do to past the time while I figured out what I was going to do.

After greeting each parent as they came and collected their child, I made sure that I sprayed everything down with Lysol as I picked up all the discarded toys around the room. I coughed as a wave of the smelly spray coated my nostrils. I hated the smell, but it did keep any unwanted germs away from spreading to the kids.

"Hey," Peter said, leaning against the door jam with his hands folded across his chest. His eyes took me in from head to toe.

"Hi," I said, pausing for a moment.

"Need any help?" he asked, nodding towards the few toys that were still scattered about on the gray carpet.

"Not much left to do," I answered, picking up the blocks and putting them back into the plastic tub they belonged in.

"Did you listen to the service?" he asked after a moment.

"Sorta," I shrugged. This room did have a speaker up in the top corner to whoever was on infant duty could listen in on the topic of the day. My mind had been elsewhere, so I wasn't entirely paying attention to the service.

I was never happier that my parents didn't question me about what the service was about, as I would have failed miserably.

My mind had been on the man that stood in the door way, watching my every move. I wasn't sure if him watching me put me on edge, or if it was just _him_. There was something about him that not only called my attention, but also something that was dark about it.

After hearing what Mom had said about him, I kept second guessing everything. That alone made me pause in what I wanted. Sure, friendship would be the only thing I was capable of with this man. I knew he wanted more, but could I even try to do that?

I also wondered why he was back, and for how long. What had he seen while away? And was he really that dangerous that I needed to keep my space as far away from him as possible?

I was positive he wouldn't ever hurt me, not on purpose. My heart was still tender from his departure a few years ago, but I was sure that if he would have talked to me about what was going on, I wouldn't have been so hurt about it all.

I understood, to an extent, but I couldn't help the worry about what would happen if he left like that again. There was no guarantee that he'd stay here. There was nothing holding him here now, as there hadn't been anything before.

"I almost fell asleep," he stated. It felt like he was forcing us to have this conversation.

"Good thing there's a song half way through to wake up all the sleepy old people," I smiled.

"Yeah, not sure that was the smartest change to do 'round here," he laughed slightly.

It was a fairly new change, one that actually worked. We did two worship songs at the beginning of the service, one in the middle, then two at the end. All the worship signing part was the best part, at least to me.

Sometimes, I was part of the worship choir, but only once every other month or so. My parents loved when I was up there, taking part of something they thought would be good for me. I didn't mind, just didn't care much for the people watching me. Unfortunately, I would be taking that job next week since the back up singer was going out of town for a family reunion.

I wasn't so sure that I wanted to know what Peter would think of that. Just the thought of him watching, listening, gave me nerves I didn't know what to do with.

"What are your plans for later today?" Peter asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Family dinner," I answered, looking around the room to make sure everything was put away. Everything seemed to be in order for the next week. "Other than that, no clue. I'm sure something will come up." Most likely Alice. She'd want to hang out, and probably talk more about last night. Not that there was all that much more to talk about. It was done and over with. "What about you?"

"Probably go see Jasper. Have a meeting I have to go to later," he said. "Have to find a job around here, too."

"How long do you plan to say?" I asked before my brain could stop the words from slipping off my tongue.

"For a while," he shrugged.

"Hmm," I said, walking to the light switch that was just beside the door, and beside Peter. I didn't really want to step so close to him, but he left me no choice unless I wanted to stand there and look like an idiot.

"Hey," he said, dipping his head to meet my eyes. "I promise, I won't leave like I did last time. I'll give you fair warning."

"It doesn't matter, Peter," I sighed, shutting the lights off. "I have no control over where you go, or when you go. But it was nice that you came to church today. I'll see you around."

"Bella," he said, a soft plea as I passed him.

I ignored him as my heart threatened to break out of my chest. The stupid beating organ wanted more from the man, but my mind knew better to than to ever allow it.

"Oh, Bella!" Alice called, wrapping her arm around my elbow, stepping up beside me. "Did you know there's a youth group in the next town over? We should so go!"

"No thanks, Alice," I sighed. "I'm tired."

"You never wanna do anything fun," she pouted. "Your parents would approve, you know."

I shook my head. She was lucky to drag me out last night, just because she had been bugging me about going to do something _fun_ for over a week. A movie hadn't been fun enough. But I wasn't going to go out with her again tonight.

"Please," she went on.

"No," I said, giving her a look that told her to not push it. "I went last night just to keep you out of trouble. Once was more than enough. Drag your new boyfriend to it."

"Oh, he'll already be there. He's kinda in charge of it," she skipped. "Peter will probably be there, too."

"Makes me want to go even less," I huffed. "I just want to stay home, okay. Maybe next week."

"Alright," she sighed, knowing she wasn't going to get me to cave.

Alice was great at talking me into going out to do things that I normally would never do on my own. Sure, she did get me out of my house and away from my over protective parents more times than I wanted to admit. I knew I shouldn't have let her talk me into going last night. But after a week of constant asking, I was just tired of hearing her ask over and over again.

That was the first time that it was something so out of the normal for Alice to drag me along to. Most of the time, it was shopping. Once in a while it had been to some dance club for under aged people.

I'd never know what Alice would have up her sleeve next.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Later that night, as I sat at the round table with my parents, I almost wished I had gone with Alice. It may have been just as awkward, but at least all the heat wouldn't be on me. Dad was going on and on about how he wanted to do some picnic thing in a few weeks to get the entire community together. He felt like the people were pulling away from church and his services because of the summertime activities.

I'd be asked to help manage some sort of it, and I'd do it without complaint. Why? Because that was the person my parents tried to raise me to be. Do whatever it took to make others happy.

But what about me? I wasn't happy. They apparently couldn't see that their one and only daughter hated how they expected me to do everything they had lined out. They didn't see how unhappy I was?

Guess they didn't.

"I think that'd be a great idea, Charlie," Mom said. "Get the word out now, and I bet the entire town will come."

"I think so too," Dad said, his eyes swinging to me. His brown eyes were the same shade as my own. "Why aren't you eating?"

"Not that hungry," I shrugged, pushing my food around my plate.

"I bet it was all that sugar you had with Alice last night," Mom said, shaking her head like it was the worst thing ever.

"Just a lot on my mind," I said.

"Still undecided about college? You know you can work at the church and not have to go right away," Mom said.

"It's not just that," I said, not wanting to blast all my issues out there, let alone here at the dinner table.

"Then what?" Dad asked.

"Life," I said, glancing between the two. "You know that the whole working at the church thing doesn't feel like my calling. I want to figure out what that is."

"We've been over this," Dad sighed, like it was the most tiring thing ever.

Sure, since I started my last year of school, I've felt this way. It felt like I was being led to the slaughter. And it was becoming suffocating the longer I was under these obligations.

"There is nothing better than to follow the path that is lined out for you. God himself put in on this path as a young child. You know this, Bella. So why are you still fighting it?" Dad went on. "You won't grow in the church unless you are part of it. You can be a leader here without anyone standing in your way."

"But what if I'm meant to do more," I huffed. "What if I'm meant to reach other people in a different way than being in a building where everyone knows me? Why can't you just give me the chance to explore the world and see what's out there?"

"We just want to protect you, sweetie," Mom said, her voice calm. "This is the easiest thing for you to do. You know everyone in this town would love it if you became the next music leader or event organizer. Or something else in the church."

"You have the summer," Dad said, reminding me of the deal that we made. "The summer to get this little thing out of your system. After that, you will be working in the church four days a week, Bella. To me, it seems like you are already wasting your time doing nothing."

Geeze, go right to the point, why don't you.

"Maybe I just want to enjoy a few days before jumping into something," I muttered. Louder, "I plan to look for a job tomorrow."

"Wonderful!" Mom said, pleased to hear that. "Where do you plan to look? I know a few spots that would love to have you as part of their team, you know."

"I want to do this on my own. I _need_ to do myself," I said, hoping they understood.

Being an only child, they tended to think they had to hold my hand constantly. How was I to learn to get over my issue of not liking people if they were going to do all the work for me? If they expected me to become a member of the church, then they needed to learn to let me grow socially without them helping.

Not like it would help me. I'd still have a dislike for people no matter what I would do.

"Alright," Mom said, sitting back in the chair. "If you change your mind, I will be happy to help."

During the rest of dinner, both Mom and Dad shot me concerned looks as I picked at my food. I was sure that they knew that more than just what I wanted to do with my life was bothering me. There was no way I'd ever bring up the other issues, though. They would think I was completely out of my mind if they knew.

After cleaning up from dinner, Dad went to his study to start working on next week's service while Mom went to watch TV and read on her kindle. I made my way to my room, gently closing my door behind me.

I flopped on my bed after picking up my iPad that had been left on my bedside table. Clicking onto the FB app, I couldn't help be let my shoulders sag in defeat. It was filled with pictures of a few of my friend's photo's of the fun they were already having before going off to college.

I couldn't call all these people friends, though. I hung out with them at school, but that was as far as it ever went. Alice was my only friend I ever hung out with after school hours, and the only person I could confide in.

Seeing my friend requests, I couldn't help but let a small smile cross my lips. Peter Whitlock had sent a request. Over the past few years, he had not been online because of what he was doing, which made complete sense now that I knew he was serving the country.

Did I really want to accept it, though?

I know what Alice would want me to do, but did I really want to do it.

After another moment's thought, I clicked accept. I could always unfriend him later if it turned out he'd be a bother. I wasn't on all that often anyhow since there was nothing good enough to keep me coming back.

I couldn't help myself, and checked out his profile. It looked to be a brand new page, and not all the was posted yet to it. It was about a month since it was created, and other than a few pictures of him and Jasper, nothing too personal was posted. It didn't even state where he was working or what he had done before.

Maybe that was a good enough clue that he wasn't meant to be in my circle. He had his own life, and I had mine.

But with mine, I was determined to make something of myself.

If only life would quit dragging me down so I could.


	5. Chapter 5

Yeah, it's been 6 months since I've updated this. I was busy working on an original, which will be published early next year. That book is with my editor right now, so I found some time to work on this FF. Anyhow, here's the next chapter. It's unbeta-ed.

Chapter 5

The following Monday, after a week of trying to hand out as many resume's as I could possibly hand out to anyone at all hiring, I got a call back from the one person that I least expected. A call from someone I hadn't even applied to, surprisingly.

That phone call couldn't have come at a better time, either. Dad was getting on my nerves about getting something to occupy my time other than staying at home and doing everything I could to ignore Alice and her persistence. She wanted to me to go shopping. Every. Single. Day.

So not what I wanted to do.

I'd prefer to just stay holed up in my room, but that only lasted for so long.

So when the house phone began to ring, I pulled myself up from in front of the TV in the living room to go answer it. Yes, I certainly did grumble about being interrupted from the binge worthy cold case file show I had happened to find.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Am I speaking to Bella?" a female voice on the other end asked. The voice was soft, kind even.

"Yes."

"I'm Charlotte. I'm sure you don't exactly know me, but I heard from my aunt that you were looking for a job. I may have the perfect opportunity for you," she went on. "I'm in Seattle, so I totally understand if you aren't interested. I am in need of a nanny for my four-week-old baby. Auntie Esme said you were looking for a job, and may have mentioned that you would prefer something out of that small little town you are in. And I figured that I'd love to meet you and see if you are a fit. Since I've heard that you work with kids in church."

As she rambled, my mind jumped into speed. This would be the perfect chance to get out of this town and show my parents just how capable I'd be able to handle living away from home without them.

"You'd have the entire basement as your own, paid, of course. And you would have Friday through Sunday off every week; I'd make sure of that. I don't want to take away your entire summer break, especially if you plan to go to college."

"I'm not sure about college just yet," I jumped in as she paused to take a breath. "But I would love to meet up with you. If you know my parents, then they would demand they meet you before ever agreeing to let me be a nanny."

"Absolutely. I'll be in town tomorrow. Would that work? If not, I can come that way later this week instead."

"Tomorrow will work perfectly," I smiled.

"Perfect. I can meet you at the church, since I'm sure that's where your parents will be. Say around eleven?" she said.

"That'll work."

See you then Bella!" with that, she hung up.

Hanging up the phone, I was giddy with the possibility that things were finally looking up. I was also nervous and worried that this wouldn't work out in the end.

What if my parents didn't want me to go? What if they knew this gal and didn't trust her? What then? I didn't want to be stuck here forever.

After I was off the phone, I had a bunch of questions I probably should have asked. Like who was her aunt, and what she was paying me. And for how long she would need to be nanny for her.

Guess it would have to wait, as I'm sure my parents would have the same questions, if not more.

000

That same night, as both of my parents sat down to a dinner that I made, I hoped that they would be on my side for once. Making dinner, which I didn't do all that often, would show that I was serious about this offer.

"So," I started off after dishing some mashed potatoes onto my plate beside the fried chicken and corn. "I got a job offer today."

"That's wonderful, dear," Mom said, shooting me a pleased smile. "What place?"

"Well, it's not here in town," I edged carefully. "Charlotte, she's in Seattle, needs a part time sitter."

"Charlotte? Her name sounds familiar," Dad said. "But I'm not sure being so far away would be the best thing."

"She's willing to come meet us tomorrow at the church. She knows you guys. Said her aunt passed on the message that I was looking for a job. And I'd get paid to live in her basement when I'm not having to take care of the baby."

"What time?" Mom asked.

"Eleven. Said she knew you would both want to meet her, along with myself, before deciding if I was even a good match. Her baby is like four weeks old or so."

"We'll have to meet her and see what she's like. If I remember correctly, I think she's Esme's sister's girl. She'd be about five years older than you," Mom said between bites. "When would she want you to start?"

"I didn't get a chance to ask. She didn't really give me much chance to ask much of anything, really," I answered.

"Guess we'll figure it out tomorrow then," Mom smiled. "And it sounds like you'd make it back on weekends, right?"

"Sounds like it," I answered. Not that I really cared, but my parents certainly would. Missing church was a huge sin in their eyes. Okay, not a sin, but it was close to it. "This would be a great chance to see how I do being away from home with collage coming up soon."

"Suppose so," Dad said.

Always the man that hated talking about me leaving to go away. I was sure that if he could, I'd be locked up in a high tower with no escape. I'm sure he meant well, but that didn't help the feeling of being suffocated with his own wants of me.

"Have you decided what you want to do with about a college degree yet?" Dad asked.

"Maybe some business classes or child development. Start of my daycare down the road," I said the first thing that came to mind. This was really the first time for the past year that I had any inkling to do either one of those things, but both things I could excel at if I tried.

"That would actually be a wonderful idea," Mom said, giving me a toothy smile. "Knowing more about children and how they develop would be a great aspect to have with working in the child care part of the church, you know. And if one day you take over the church, the business classes would help you a lot there too."

Dad simply grunted, still not wanting to accept that his baby girl would be going off to college and growing up, but he also didn't have anything to reply with. I counted that as a win in my book.

Now, hopefully tomorrow would be just as successful.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

With the sun shining down on me, causing my skin to warm from the heat, I headed towards the church. My hands were stuffed into my front pockets of my cut off shorts. My cell phone was in my back pocket, which do doubt had unanswered texts from the one and only Alice.

I hadn't told her about this job interview, fearing that it may not pan out. Knowing my parents, it was likely to backfire horribly bad. I didn't want to admit that the fear that pushed my shoulders down was heavy and all consuming.

I had to get out of this small, nosey town. I wanted away from the life that my parents wanted for me. I didn't want to think about what would happen if this nanny job didn't pan out.

One thing was for sure, though. I would get out one way or another. I had to.

"Hey!" Peter's voice startled me out of my thoughts as he slowed his car down to crawl beside me. "What you up to?"

"Headed to the church," I answered, keeping my walking pace. I may have left early, but that didn't mean that I was gonna stop and chat either.

"Don't you have something better to do?" he asked.

"Not really," I shrugged. "Gotta do my part, or so my parents say."

"That doesn't sound fun," Peter said.

"So, what are you up to? Surely you have better stuff to do that stalk me."

"I ain't stalking you," he laughed. "I just happened to be driving back home from a job interview and saw you. Figured I'd stop by and say hi."

"I see," I said, not really sure what to say.

"What are you doing tonight?" he asked after a moment as we rounded a corner.

"Not sure," I answered. In my mind, I hoped I was home packing.

"Perfect. You should come out with me and Jasper. Alice will be there, too."

"I'll think about it," I said, giving him a tight smile. I already knew I wouldn't.

"Okay," Peter said, most likely already knowing what I would be doing. "I will get you go come out with me one of these nights."

 _Good luck on that._

"See you later, Peter," I said, giving him a small wave as I reached the church. Meeting his eyes, I could feel his calculating look bear into my back. He saw way more of myself than I wanted anyone to see. It was like he could see within my soul. I didn't want him to see me like that.

"Hey, Bella," he called before I at the door of the church. "I'm here if you need to talk. You know that right?"

"Sure," I said. I highly doubted I'd ever talk to this man about my little issues.

He gave me a small nod before pulling away.

With a deep breath in, I shook of the lingering feelings that Peter evoked in me.

Entering the church, I headed straight to where I knew where my parents would be at – dad's office. I found them right where I figured they'd be. Dad was working on this coming weeks sermon, and mom was typing away at another computer for plans about the next gathering.

"You're early," Mom said, seeing me in the doorway.

"Figured it'd be a good idea," I shrugged. It was just easier to get this all done and over with.

"Always a planner," Mom smiled. "Now, Esme had called me about her niece, the one we are meeting with today, and has many good things to say. And it sounds like the position would work good; you still be home quite often."

I gave her a small smile, mostly to appease her. Did she really think I'd come back weekly? I would the first few weeks, but after that I wouldn't be. If I got this job, I wouldn't be back very often at all.

"I don't know what I'll do with you gone so far away," Mom sighed, her eyes becoming misty at just the thought.

"What will you do when I go to college?" I asked. "You'll get to see me still."

"True," Mom said. "But my baby is getting so big."

Luckly, I was only about five minutes early. Lately, I was only able to handle small talk with my parents, as they constantly pushed the issue of me going to college, yet at the same time staying close enough to be an active person in the church.

Hadn't they gotten the memo that I didn't have to be church every week, seven days a week? Yes, I believed he Jesus died for me, but that didn't mean I liked to be around a bunch of people all the time. I hated having to pretend to be someone I wasn't sure I was anymore.

Maybe, graduating high school changed the view of the world. Maybe that was why I was so desperate to get out from under my parents' strict rules that had set.

"Hello?" someone called from the lobby. Her voice was soft, yet loud enough to be heard.

"Well, go on, Bella," Dad said, giving me a hand motion to go greet my potation employer. I was kind of surprised that he wasn't jumping up and greeting her first.

Turning, I quickly walked out of the office, knowing that my parents would be following me in less than three minutes, if that.

Once in the lobby, my eyes laded of who I assumed was Charlotte. She had sat down a baby carrier at her side as she looked around the building. Her long blond hair was in a side braid, pulling the pieces away from her face and out her way.

She wasn't much taller than I was, and had an air about her that was refreshing. Like a cold cup of water on a hot summer day type of air.

"Bella?" she asked as she spotted me.

"Yes," I answered, holding my hand out to her to shake. Her grip was firm.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," she smiled, the smile reaching her light green eyes. "And this here, is Alec."

She turned the seat around, and the baby's eyes were wide open and taking everything in. His eyes were the same colors as his mothers. His head of hair was pitch black.

"He's adorable," I said, a real smile on my lips now.

Had I said that I loved kids? Because I do so.

"He can be picky," she said. "About everything."

"Aren't most babies at this age?"

"I suppose so," she laughed. "So, Esme said you have work with infants for a few years?"

"Yes. I have at least five years, watching babies in the nursery right here in this church," I answered. "And I'm not afraid to ask if I'm not sure about something."

"Good to hear," she said. "Would you mind holding him? Just to see if he likes you. Like I said, he's picky about who he likes. But if he likes you, then he's good about everything else."

"Sure," I said. "Who doesn't he like?"

"Well, his doctor for one," she laughed as she bent down and began to unbuckle Alec from the seat. "And my in-laws. He's not too pleased about them. But he loves his uncle."

Once Alec was out of his seat, Charlotte handed him to me. Gently, I accepted him. One hand supported his head, the other rested under his butt. Other than him grunting, he didn't make a sound as his eyes continued to looked around at everything.

"She's always been wonderful with kids of all ages," Dad said as he appeared next to me.

"Mr. Swan," Charlotte said, holding her hand.

They shook hands as I moved the baby to be cradled in my arms against my chest.

"I think he likes you, Bella," Charlotte said, watching me with her son closely.

I smiled down at him, my eyes meeting his. He was so little.

"How long are you thinking you'll need my daughter to watch your baby?" Dad asked.

"At least for the summer, possibly longer. I will be only working part time for now to keep the bills from piling up so fast. I'd love it if Bella can work longer than just the summer, but if not I'll find someone else when the time comes," Charlotte answered.

"She's going to college in the fall," Dad stated.

"Not a problem," she replied, not missing a beat.

"So then why hire her?" Dad asked.

Geeze, could he be friendlier?

"Esme had great things to say," Charlotte said. "And I'm hoping that Alec will be ready for daycare come fall this way. Or my sister can move closer to watch him for me by that time."

"Bella said you have a basement?" Dad asked, probably making sure I was telling the truth.

"Yes. There will be rules of no parting, no drinking, and no smoking inside or outside of my house. Not with infant. But I'm sure I won't have to worry about that at all with Bella here. All I expect is for Alec's needs to be met, along with getting him out of the house and becoming a bit more sociable than he is. Of course, a baby can't be that sociable, but at least around people every once in a while."

"When are you planning to need her to start?" Dad asked.

Sigh. I hated that he was talking about me like I wasn't standing right next to him. It was even sadder that I was used to him doing just that.

"That is up to her," Charlotte said, meeting my eyes. She gave me a soft smile, most likely catching on the fact that my father has pretty much taken over this meeting. "But I would really like you to start as soon as possible. I go back to work Monday. I'd like to have a trial day this weekend, just to see how you both handle each other."

"More warning would be nice," Dad gruffed out, hiding his annoyance.

"I can leave tomorrow," I said, talking over my father.

"Really? Because that would be perfect!" Charlotte said. "That'd give you plenty of time to know if this is a good fit, that's for sure."

"I don't think that'd be the best idea. We have a bake sale this weekend that she's in charge of," Dad said, rubbing his mushstash.

"I'll be back Saturday morning. With cookies," I said.

"She'll wait till Sunday," Dad said over me.

"Actually, Mr. Swan, it's up to Bella. She's eighteen, right? I'm sure she can decided herself," Charlotte said. "So, Bella, whenever _you_ want to leave, you can."

I would so love to leave right now, but I had packing that would need to be done. And I'd have to call Alice and explain to her what was going on.

Man, Alice would probably not be too pleased about this. It wasn't like me to just decided last minute to move, even if it is turns out to be one of the best things I've ever done.

After exchanging cell phone numbers, Charlotte promised to text me her address once she got back home, I was left with a steaming father.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you for all the reviews. Sorry about any errors. I'm sure i missed a few. I have no clue when the next update will be, as I will be getting back edits for my next book release.**

Chapter 7

I sat in the office chair, feeling more suffocated than ever before. The words my dad was tossing my way went in one year and out the other. He didn't care that his words cut me deep, deeper than a lot of things he'd thrown me into.

Mom sat close my, keeping her mouth shut, but I could tell that she wanted to tell Dad off as I blanked out. I stared at my lap, hoping that Dad would just shut up already.

His voice was getting on my nerves. The words he said wasn't doing anything but making me want to go even sooner.

I had to get out of here. I needed away, from not just this town, but my parents. Weren't parents soppose to let their children grown and explore the world before them? Were children that were out of high school to make mistakes and learn from them to become a better person?

"I can't believe that lady? She isn't a woman of God, and she wants to take away the next person in this town that can do right by us all," Dad went on. "I haven't raised you to just run off like this. You aren't going. If you want to babysit, do so around here. That town she lives in is full of sin, and so is her entire family."

"That's enough now, Charlie," Mom said, finally having enough. "You know the Whitlock's are good souls in this town. And you of all people know better than to talk about others like that!"

"I'm going, and you won't stop me. I need to learn how to live without both of you up my neck. If you want me to come back, then I'd watch what you say next," I said, having enough. I was over being told what I could and couldn't do. I was tired of being held hostage in my own town because Dad refused to let his girl grow up.

"Bella, you can't mean that," Mom said. "We'll let you go. But there will be rules."

"I'm going to go pack," I said, not wanting to hear what she had to say.

Rules. Rules were stupid. Yes, rules were important, and I would follow the laws. I wasn't that crazy to forget that there were consequences for my actions. I wasn't going to go out and drink, or do one night stands. I still hold my morals that I believed in tightly in my chest. Nothing would change that.

I just had to get away from this town, and these two people that created me.

I don't know if it was because Peter was back in town that gave me the strength to stand up to my parents, or if it was that woman who gave me hope of a way out of here. Whatever it was, I was ready to leave this town behind. And I wasn't sure I'd be willing to come back any time soon, either. Not if my parents were going to be so demanding about their wants.

"Wait," Dad said harshly as I left.

I paused for a moment, debating on what to do. I so wanted to just tell him to shove it. Instead, I looked over my shoulder. "I can't figure out what my purpose is if you keep holding me back. Either let me live my life, or you will lose me forever. The choice is yours. I am leaving tomorrow, and you won't stop me."

With that, I made my way out of the church and back out into the heat of Spring. What I hadn't counted on was Peter sitting on the hood of his car, waiting. His jean clad legs kicked back and forth like an antsy toddler.

"Peter," I greeted. I hated that he was seeing me out of sorts. Again.

He certainly had horrible timing.

"What was all that about?" he asked, no doubt hearing some of it. I bet he had been waiting inside for me.

"Don't ask," I huffed.

"Alright," he said, letting the subject drop. "Now where you headed?"

"Home," I answered. "To pack. I got a job." A huge smile filled my face. Me. I had a job and couldn't wait to start.

"Awesome. Out of this town, I take it?"

"Yep," I said, popping the p.

"Need a ride?" he asked after a moment.

"Nah. I need to call Alice to let her know. She's so not gonna be happy."

"She'll be amazed you are getting some footing. So am I, Bella. Will you be back?"

"Kinda have to be," I said. "But not as often as some people. But my parents will want to see me. Plus Alice will have my head if I don't at least back to see her. Not that I'm going all that far. Only less than an hour, but still."

Why the heck was I rambling? Crap.

"Cool," Peter said, giving me his famous smile that made me have a crush on him all those years ago. "Well, keep in touch, alright."

"I'll try," I said, knowing I wouldn't be. It was better to cut ties with this man I tried hard to not have a crush on.

"Bella," he said, his voice deepening.

Crap.

"Fine. I'll keep in touch," I said. "So unfair."

"I'll be seeing you around, B," he smiled, pushing himself off the car. "You can always call me if you need help. With anything. It's what friends do."

"Sure," I said, knowing it would have to be a life or death issue for me to call him. That was even if I had his phone number.

"Alright. Well, I'll see you later, sweets."

With that, he left me where I stood in a daze.

Could my day get any stranger? Okay, it was just that man that made my thoughts swim and feel out of sorts.

Yeah, getting out of this place was the best choice without a doubt.


	8. Chapter 8

Happy New Year!

Chapter 8

I made it back home in record time. My thoughts ran wild of what all I needed to, what to pack, and how to exactly tell Alice what I was going to be doing.

Excitement filled me from head to toe. This was the first time, other than the church camps, that I would be fully without any parental supervision. I wasn't going to go out and act all stupid, like a lot of teenagers tended to do when they were free of their parents. That just wasn't who I was.

I made sure to lock the front door behind me before digging out my phone from my back pocket. Making my way up the stairs, I called Alice, who answered on the second ring. It was like she was always by her phone. Oh wait, she always was.

"Bella!" she greeted.

"Hey Alice," I said. "So, I got some exiting news."

"Oh! Did you finally take Peter up on his offer? Because that would be sweeeet," she said, dragging the last word out.

"No," I shook my head, even though she couldn't see me do so. "I got a job."

"That was not what I was expecting," Alice said, but still happy. "Where? I hope not at the church."

"Charlotte Whitlock, I think is her last name. Anyhow, she heard from her aunt that I was looking for a job and hired me to watch her kid. And Alice, he's so adorable!"

"Oh wow!" she said. "When do you start?"

"Monday. But here's the thing," I said. "It's in Seattle."

"And I'm betting your parents aren't going to let you go," she sighed.

"They aren't too happy, no. But I am going. I'm leaving tomorrow, actually. That way I can settle in and get to know Alec's schedule and all that."

"You, really, are going?" she said, now really surprised.

"Yes. Can you believe it!"

"Not really. I figured you'd end up working at the church forever, you know. Maybe seeing Peter last week was the wake up call you nodded."

"He had nothing to do with this, you know," I said, rolling my eyes. "I've been wanting to get out of this town for a little while now."

But she did have a good point. Maybe seeing Peter, talking to him, did help me pull up my big girl panties and finally get out of the whole I was stuck in.

"What if it doesn't work out?" I said, worry slowly creeping in.

"Don't worry about it. You know you are always welcome to come back. It's not like you are moving across the country. Plus, Jasper lives in Seattle, so we'll still get to see each other. And you so need to meet him. He's so sweet, B. Really, you'll like him. Anyways, need help packing?"

Always one that could change subjects as quick as a bee flying from one flower to the next.

"There isn't that much to pack," I said, looking around the room. "But if you want to, sure."

"Be there soon!" Alice said, quickly ending the call.

000

My car was packed by sunset with a number of boxes that contained most of my clothes, books, and essentials. It wasn't all that much, but enough that the car was packed tightly. I was ready to go, even though I was starting to second guess my decision.

What if this wasn't what I was meant to do? What if it didn't work out like I hoped? What if….

"Stop that," Alice said, giving me that look that said she knew just what I was thinking.

"But," I started.

"No buts," she said, placing her hands on my shoulders. "You got this. You _need_ this. We both know that. Your friends and family are only a call away, and you'll be back often enough. You need to figure out who you are without your parents influence over you. The entire town can see how much pressure your own parents are putting on you. So go, take this amazing job and find out who you are. Everythign that you told me sounds like this is where you are meant to go, so don't be second guessing yourself. Not now. Now when you are so close to getting out of here.

"Plus, I'll be out there on Wednesdays for that youth group, and I will eventually get you to go out with me to them. So you'll never be able to get rid of me."

"Guess I won't get to miss you, will I?" I laughed, letting her words soak in.

"Not a chance," she said as she pulled me into a hug. Pulling back, "Let me know when you leave, and when you get there."

"Yes, _mom_ ," I said.

After Alice left, my parents both pulled up. Mom took out take out from the back of the car while Dad didn't even look my way. Silently, I followed them inside and set out the table.

"I take it you are all packed," Mom said.

"Yes. Alice helped. I plan to leave by ten tomorrow morning." I'd leave sooner if no one was at home when I woke up.

"You should wait till Sunday afternoon, or Monday morning," Dad said.

"Charlie, we talked about this," Mom sighed. "She's an adult. She can get settled in in her new place."

"I'll be back Saturday night, okay? That way I'll be here Sunday for church and the bake sale."

"Fine," Dad said, not happily. I could see he wanted to lecture me some more, but instead shoved a bite full of food into my mouth.

"Please check in with us every day, though," Mom said.

"Sure," I shrugged. I could send a text daily to let them know I was still alive, at least.

The rest of dinner was tension filled, and I hurriedly finished eating before excusing myself to shower.


End file.
